That is most certainly an oxymoron! I prefer "don't do as I do, do as I say". Unfortunately the loudest words are often those unspoken. Little do we really know how our actions affect those around us so much more than our words of wisdom.
I think it is safe to say that most of us want our children and our loved ones to have the best of everything. Better than the things we had better than the things we experienced. And we often share this in words. But remember they see our choices, they see what we accept, what we endure, and the way we life. If we settle, they see that. Is that what we want for them? Do we want them to settle for anything less than excellence?
With my first marriage I did not set a very good example for my children, especially for my daughter. I put up with abuse, both verbal and physical. I put up with alcohol taking first place in his affections. I put up with him cheating on my. Did I want either of my children to put up with any one of those things? Absolutely not! Yet my actions showed them it's okay to live like that. After the relationship ended it was easy to say, I should have left, I should have put him out. But I didn't. I regret that to this day. I thought I was doing the right thing. Keeping my wedding vows, staying with a man that totally disrespected me. I was, I thought, being true to what I believed, but I was not setting an example I wanted for anyone I loved to follow.
I have friends that stay in relationships, again thinking they are being true to themselves, and as an outsider I find myself thinking, why in the world are they settling for this? Although I can't see it, they have their reasons. They are setting an example for someone, is it good or is it bad? Not for me to decide. But I challenge you right now. If someone you love follows in your footsteps, are they going to be happy? Is it what you want for them?
I am happy to say that the example Matthew and I left was a great one, and hopefully our boys and a lot of people who knew us use as an example. If my boys follow in their fathers footsteps I will indeed be one proud Mama!
I hope to lead by example. I know there are people that see things in a much different light than I do, and that's okay. In the long run I am happy, healthy and looking forward.
My life is good, very good at this moment. And I am living it!!
