The mind is a terrible thing to waste...it is also a terrible thing to abuse! At times I cannot seem to turn my mind off. It will race around taking random thoughts and turning them into absolute monsters! Simply thoughts take on a life of their own and become uncontrollable forms of despair, hurt and misery. When thoughts become negative obsessions it is time to STOP thinking!
Flights of fantasy are not, in and among themselves, harmful. I am prone to many adventures in my mind and heart. I can while away the hours wishing and hoping and envisioning my future. This can be a pleasant experience and can eat up time when I am bored or waiting for something to happen in my mundane life. I can play scenarios in my head and perhaps change a few things to make them more pleasant or closer to what I am hoping will happen. No harm in that right? Then it happens! My pleasurable thoughts slowly but surely distort and twist out of focus. I start, what I like to call, mind reading. This is rarely accurate and certainly not flattering to my self confidence. When I take things someone may have said and turn, and twist and dissect it I can make it mean something entirely different from those words. Chances are I KNOW exactly what they meant when they were said, why do I need to over think it?
I cannot sit here, rehash something that I know to be true, and change it while sitting here! No matter what my mind is telling me it changes NOTHING! My prospective may change, my understanding may change but the facts have not. So why do I think too much? Why do I allow my mind to keep looking for answers that I already know? Why do I need answers for the future? Why can I not accept what is today and let tomorrow take care of itself? Tomorrow is uncertain. Especially when it's someone else's tomorrow. I cannot be certain of my tomorrow, why do I need to think about someone's else's tomorrow?
I rob myself of joy by thinking so much. By trying to figure out answers to questions that have no direct effect on me, I question what I already know to be true, causing doubt and worry. I know that I am my own worst enemy. I question myself far too much, my instincts, my heart, my self worth. I know I need to learn to trust myself. I know that life has no guarantees. I know that my happiness depends on me, my attitude, my thoughts, my choices and my relationships that I put time, energy and effort into. I know that I need to limit stress and drama and negativity. I know that I need to demonstrate more strength and self control in dealing with these issues.
Today I have decided to stop thinking too much. I have decided to trust myself and my instincts. I have decided to stop worrying about making the wrong choices and limiting the stress and drama and negativity in my life. I am going to spend more time on me! I have taken a look around me and see that I allow other people and their issues to take up far too much space in my life and my thoughts. I allow their negativity to spill over into my own thinking. Just the other day a dear person in my life told me only I can be the person I know I am. This is true and it's time I am that person.
Today my life is not what I want it to and I am not the person I know I am but today I will be the best me I can be. Today I take back my peace and step out of the cycle of thinking too much, worrying about things out of my control and negative patterns and people. Today the answers are coming and I did not expect them!
This is my life, I will live it my way and be true to myself! No longer my worst enemy but my own best friend.
