I am certain that I am not the only person thinking of another year coming to an end. What went right, what went wrong, what stayed the same, what changed?
Did I accomplish any of my goals, did any of my dreams come true?
I have to say for myself I am not happy with the end result. I am in the same spot. I took some chances, I made some memories, I had some fun. But all in all not much has changed. I am still alone. I am unfulfilled. I am still struggling with what I want and how to get it. I am still sad and emotional. I am still lost and regretful.
As I write this I want to give up. I want to run and hide, I want to snap my fingers and have everything fall into place. Why do I have to fight for everything I want? Why must I always be the also ran. Why do my past failures, shortcomings or mishaps have to loom so large? Always taunting me, reminding me that I will never be who I want to be. Never will I be all that I can. Never have anything that I don't fight for and even then never have it all.
Yes, I guess I am feeling a bit defeated this morning. I know that I can let it ruin my day or I can get it out and make room for some positive thoughts and actions. I will not give up, but instead get going. I will not hide my frustration, but instead get rid of it by doing something constructive. I will not cry but instead use that energy to do something physical to better my health.
I am not living in the past but continuing to write my life story. I will set a short term goal today. I will work toward accomplishing that goal. It's my life, it's my story. Life is good, I want to live it...I will for today!!!
