I am grateful this morning for family and friends who stand beside me, who love me in moments that I hate myself, who have given up trying to figure me out and accept that I am weird and set in my ways!
I am optimistic that life is promising me yet another opportunity. I am looking forward to getting to know a very nice man who makes me feel special and wants to make me smile. He is my opposite. Reserved, professional, down to earth, logical and predictable. Where I am outgoing, bohemian, head in the clouds, heart lead and very unpredictable. I told him I will teach him to fly and he can teach me to keep my feet on the ground. We communicate very well and have both decided that is the key. We are looking for the same things in a partner and neither of us wants to change the other. We are excited to spend some time together just getting to know one another! We are looking forward to making some great memories on this trip and establishing a lasting relationship.
Closing another chapter in my life and starting a new one has not been easy. Closure for me has been elusive. Matthew's death, letting go of Daniel to live his life, ending my last relationship, and even learning to be on my own have challenged me in ways I cannot even explain.
I know I am strong, I know I will survive, I know I will move forward. I want to be happy. I want to smile and mean it. I want to get through the day without tears. I want to put my anxiety and my worry and my sadness behind me. I want to experience deep peace. I want to enjoy that inner calmness that has evaded me for so long now. I can sense it's near. I can almost feel it for brief moments. I long for the ache to leave my heart.
I have room in my heart to love again, and I want it to be a pure love, a sweet love, a giving love. A love that knows the peace and calmness I am searching for. A love that comes easily. A love that will be returned, honestly and completely.
I don't know what tomorrow brings, none of us do. For today I am living my life, I am loving, I am willing to take one more chance. I am glad I am where I am, even though I struggle, I am coming out ahead of where I was yesterday. It's another chapter in my life, the book is far from finished....I am sucker for a happy ending....Life is good!!!!
