I have been trying to utilize the world of online dating sites and what a mess! In one single day I was stood up, bald-faced lied to (more than once), insulted, purposed to, for more than marriage, and kept awake all night!
I do believe the days of harmless flirtations, notes, and being in the right place at the right time are gone forever. Men and women troll the internet highways and byways looking for their next conquest with alarming speed. There is no regard for truth whatsoever. There is nothing personal or even human in the search.
I have a friend that is out on a turkey shoot. This morning he sent me a text saying the weather is great the turkeys are not cooperating though. I sent one back that said "LOL...ummmmm can't say as I blame them, shall I crawl out of my nice warm bed and run around in circles outside so some guy can shoot me or shall I stay put?" That brought to mind my dating site fiasco! It's kind of like a turkey shoot.
What possessed me to go onto this site, write an ad for myself, try to sell myself to total strangers and expect different results? And to top it all off, why do I get so upset when it doesn't work? They are strangers!!!! They don't give a shit! They don't know me nor do the want to. They want to get their dicks wet. They want to put another notch on their cyber headboards.
And the older they are, they worse they are. All of a sudden these middle aged, and older, men think they are god's gift to women. They think they are sexy beyond belief and can give her the world both in bed and out. Really? Get a grip guys and look in the mirror. That "athletic" body you have...ummm not so much. Those hot,sexy eyes on your face, look again, they are a little crossed and saggy. And when you can't write a sentence using proper English...well let me tell you....that's does NOT impress me much even though you claim to have a PHD.
The profiles that say "looking for a relationship" are a laugh. They are looking for "relations" only. Preferable with NO strings. They make up a screen name with some sexual tones to it like; MakeUscream69 and that is supposed to get your attention and lure you into their bed for some love and respect. They may say, "financially secure man seeks stable woman" really means, "I might have a couple of bucks, which I won't be spending on you, let's have a roll in the hay they grab your stuff and be on your way." No involvement, to commitment, nothing personal.
One guy that I was chatting with (can't say talking, they all want to "chat") said he thought we should meet. I agreed that that might be fun. When he asked me when I was free and I replied that my calender was pretty open and went on to explain how I had too much free time, blah, blah, blah the conversation totally changed. When I tried to put a person into the conversation, rather that a piece of ass he suddenly was no longer interested. Suddenly he had to get off line as he had to work early. The pursuit ended and I pretended to leave, only to watch as 2 1/2 hours later Mr Had To Go To Work was still working the site for a quick dick fix.
Nameless people playing games. It's not about getting to know someone, exchanging phone numbers, going out on a date to learn more about them. It's not about becoming attracted to each other and wanting to be together. It's about how quickly can I get this person to bed. They don't even care if they like you as long as you give out the goods.
I made a date with a guy a couple of weeks ago to meet over breakfast. He said he would come to me and we made plans to meet at a local cafe. The afternoon before our meeting he sent me a message, via the site we met on, saying his mom had taken a turn for the worse and he needed to be there. I sent back my regards and told him of course I understood. A week later he drops me another message asking if I would care to try meeting for breakfast again. Friday, same time same place. I again agreed and gave him my phone number in case something came up..lol. The appointed time came on Friday and I went to the cafe. Couldn't find the guy. It's car show weekend and the place was full of strange guys, it was creepy! I went back outside and waited, 15 minutes later I got in my truck and came home. No message from the guy, no call, no nothing. I left him a message, like a fool, giving him the benefit of the doubt, telling him I hope everything is okay. No I don't...I hope he bites his damn tongue off! Anyway I have heard NOTHING from him. And I let this bother me? LOL.
The thing is, so many of us would rather go through this humiliation and take a risk with some pretty questionable people than be alone. Some of us have that need to have someone in our life so badly that we turn to stupid websites because we don't know where else to turn. When we should be out interacting with real people we are sitting on computers trying to FIND real people. Hiding behind the screen we can be, and so can they,whoever we want or perceive ourselves to be. There is NOTHING real about that. And when the people you are trying to be real with are not and probably believe you are not either where could it possibly go?
I want a real life, I want a real relationship with a real man. Time I get real and do something about it! It is MY life after all, there is no easy fix for loneliness, there is not easy answer in figuring out where HE might be. I am not giving up the search, but I am giving up the means. No more profile saying "Looking For My Last First Kiss". I'm living my life, my way.
