Sometimes when I am in the same place for long periods of time I find myself thinking there is nothing more. Things stay the same, become stale and the status quo is all there is. Nothing to look forward to, nothing new to feel or see. Being in a rut with no way out. Hopelessness in the form of sameness.
Now that I am in PA and with someone who shows affection, consideration and interest I see things magnified. Being with someone who puts my interest, my needs and my happiness first is almost overwhelming. I have to keep pinching myself. Is this what I have been missing, is this for real, is this what it is supposed to feel like? We can talk about anything and everything. Compliments are so very nice! Holding hands everywhere we go! Even just sitting together while doing our own thing is so satisfying. He has time to text me during his work day. He wants me here next to him every spare minute. He finds me interesting and wants to know more about me. He likes the little things about me that make me who I am. We have a mutual admiration for each other, and the desire to make the other happy. We have respect and value each other as a person.
I wish I could say my heart doesn't give me some grief and that my thoughts don't stray where they don't belong. For it takes time to get over somethings. Especially things that go on for a long period of time. Things that are deeply embedded in your heart. Even though those things are hurtful they served a purpose at one time. Accepting that they are over is a process. I feel in total control over that process and know that it is over and one day it will be completely out of my system. I will be able to look back and say with all certainty that it was good for a time, it was best ended and that NEVER again will I settle for less than I deserve. NEVER again will I love someone who only takes and NEVER again will I waste valuable time on someone who does not want the same things I do.
I have yet another chance for a committed relationship here at my fingertips. For now we are enjoying being together, getting to know one another and figuring out how to work together to get the most out of our relationship. We aren't pretending to be something we aren't or trying to make something happen between us that isn't there. Two intelligent adults who are looking for shared enjoyment, togetherness and commitment. We bring out the best in each other. We are opposites in that I lead with my heart and he leads with his head. Simply put, I will teach him to fly, he will teach me to touch down once in a while. He delights in my delight and I in his!
We are living life...together...and learning...together...and laughing...together...and we are loving it!! Life IS good, especially when shared with someone special. Not only do I have someone special ..I am someone special!!! Life is good...Live it as such!!!!
