Emotional roller coaster rides are tricky! One day they are fun and exciting. The next they are are sad and disappointing. What is the difference?
To figure this out I have to inventory my moods. What makes me happy, anxious, sad, angry, content and the host of other moods I find myself in? Who or what trigger these moods? What can I do to change them?
My friends and family have an affect on my mood. The amount of sleep, how well I am feeling even the weather has affects my mood. "HE" has a huge affect on my moods.
When I am in the best of moods it is often because I have had special time with "him" or a good friend or family member. Spending quality time with my daughter, my grandchildren, "him" or a good friend is great medicine and can make the roller coaster ride much more enjoyable. Doing things together binds the ties that hold us and deepens relationships in positive ways. I have to admit that on occasion, even in the midst of joy, sorry hampers my attempts to fully enjoy the ride. Suddenly the roller coaster plunges down, taking my joy and swallowing my hope. What causes this plunge? Memories, unfulfilled dreams, loneliness, guilt and many other mind altering circumstances invade my thoughts and whisk me up the next track, suspending my control over my own destiny.
No one can be in a good mood all of the time, I do know this. I would be happy to be at peace most of the time, to be content in my circumstances. Why does this state of mine evade me? Do I ask too much of life? Do I want all the wrong things? I don't think so. And I will explore this an another point in time. For now I just need to figure out how to get the most our of THIS ride. I have to decide whether to screech with delight or scream in fear, whether to ride it out or get off the ride and settle for the boring merry-go-round.
I am alive, I want to ride the roller coaster and screech with delight, I want to have it all!!!! I am far from giving up and settling for the merry-go-round. I am here, I am living my life more my way now than ever! I feel empowered. It's my life, it's good and I am going to keep right on living it my way!!!
