Understand, un-der-stand verb to comprehend; to realize; to know the feelings and thoughts of. Not a hard word to spell, or to use in a sentence. Not hard to define. But to put it into practice can, for some, be a bit difficult. I believe that at times we can only understand so much about another person. I think a lot of what and how we understand has to do with our experiences in life. I also truly believe that many of us do not really try to understand things we do not know. Understand is a verb, an action word, meaning it requires action to understand.
In my mind understanding someone requires a certain amount of empathy. Em-pa-thy noun identification with and understanding the feelings of another person. I may understand the that a particular person hates spinach, but I would not necessarily have empathy for them because I like spinach. My lack of empathy may make this person fell slighted or frustration because he/she thinks I don't get it. And in fact I don't.
I have said all this to say: I get frustrated and fell slighted when people offer me advice, tell me they are there for me or how much they love and care for me when their actions don't reflect understanding and empathy. And I am the biggest roadblock to that process. I cannot expect anyone to identify and understand my feelings, when a lot of the time I can't understand them myself.
I search for answers when sometimes I am not even sure of the questions.
I question my own understanding of myself. One day I understand, the next I have no clue. For instance there is a person in my life that I think I cannot live without today. Yesterday I didn't need or want this person in my life. Tomorrow I will be unable to live without this person again. I understand I want said person in my life, but as for why? I haven't a clue?! So of course when others have an opinion oh this subject I am frustrated that they don't get it, they have not empathy for me....how can they? I too lack understanding and empathy for myself. Am I trying too hard, shall I just relax and go with the flow? Let nature take it's course...Oh I just don't know.....sigh
What I do know is in my day to day existence I have good days and bad. Some VERY good ones and some VERY bad ones, but in the grand scheme of things LIFE is good.....I may never have all the answers, I may never understand, but I am going to be kinder to me and I am going to live MY life for ME.....
