As I sit here in the chill of the wee morning hours I can't help but wonder what prospect awaits me today?
It's all about choices, something I don't seem to make the most of. I can sit here and in my head make a plan for the day. A plan that includes good healthy choices and positive movements. I can look over my finances and put thought into my purchases. I can solve all the problems in my love life and even come up with some great ideas to promote world peace. But in the end, knowing I can only control me, and that is only at times, I may as well write a fictional story. The best laid plans of Judi don't always come about.
Something always seems to side-track me. Somewhere along the way my best laid plans become derailed. What starts out as a good positive day quickly becomes more of the same. Holed up inside, very little accomplished, mulling over the same old stuff. Why did this happen, why doesn't that happen, if only I had done this. Why must I continue to go around and around with myself.
Seems more days than not I have a plan, a good plan. But then my head doesn't stay focused on it or more often than not my heart doesn't. My head will have a plan but my heart will sabotage it quicker than I can blink. Do I trust my head? Do I trust my heart?
When I trust neither I just sit and wait. For what? I have no idea. I wait for things to change. When am I going to get it through my head that I MUST be proactive? I have to put forth some kind of effort to make things change. I need to do something, even if it's wrong or I will stay in one place forever.
This is my life. Ultimately I am in control of my destiny, my happiness, my lot in life. If I chose happiness then I am going to have to be in charge of bringing happiness into my life. It isn't going to magically happen. I am not going to wake up one morning and find that everything and every person I feel I need in my life to make me happy are in place. First I must figure out what and who I need to be a part of my happiness. Do I even know? It's about time I figure it out.
Today is another chance to get it right. Another opportunity to make some changes. Another day to listen to my own advice. Today I will try again. Today I will focus on my needs. Today I will live my life for me. Life is good, I will seek it out and make the most of it. I will be good to me today. Today I chose happiness!!
