Gray Days

At times my days are gray.  Looks like today may be one of those, literally and figuratively.  Days when nothing tastes as good, nothing smells as sweet and things just feel a bit out of kilter.  Why must I have days like this?
I have heard it said that if we didn't have the bad we would not fully recognize the good.  Mmmmmm.  Okay, that makes a little sense I guess.  
What makes a gray day?  I find loneliness turns my world colorless in about 3 seconds.  I am not always lonely for the same things however.  Sometimes I am missing a certain person.  Sometimes I long for a place or time and on occasion I am void of a particular feeling that creates a hole in my being.  
Today I am jumping ahead of myself in time.  I am thinking about tomorrow and the people I no longer have in my life to share Father's Day with.  I, who had so many father figures in my life, now have no one to share the day with.  But I have forgotten that my memory does indeed serve me well and if I look there I am not alone at all.  In June 2009 I wrote something that I want to bring back into my memory: The other day I realized that I am indeed fortunate to have had not just one, but 4 Daddy's in my life. Each one gave of themselves to my legacy. Each one gave me a unique gift. Each one gave me love and hope. Although they are all gone now I possess memories that will forever be shared between them and me. I miss them so, especially on the day we are to honor our Daddy. With this in mind I honor the memory of my wonderful Grandaddy, Charles R Wellborn Sr, for stepping up to the plate to be my Daddy when I was so young. Uncle Gordon, you were so much fun and I love you so. My fantastic step father, DeLane Terral, you were the best, and I miss your stories so much. And to my knight, my father, Charles R Wellborn Jr, I wish I could look up and see you coming across the yard one more time, I miss you Daddy. These men filled the shoes of Daddy. These men are admired and missed. These men, my Daddys, I love you so.     
To this I have to add that I am saddened that my boys will not have their Daddy for the day either.  I feel their heartbreak, their sadness and it hurts me deeply.  I know how much they miss him, how much I miss him and how wrong it all feels.  We were indeed blessed to have had him in our lives.  He so loved us and we so loved him!
I know sometimes I have to be my own rescuer and pull myself out of my funks.  And I also know that sometimes I must wallow.  And that is okay as long as I know when enough is enough.  I am so grateful that I am at a place today where I have sense enough to reach inside my self and pull out the good memories and not dwell in my loss.  
Life is so good!!  Live it!!!