Today as I prepare to attend the funeral of my dear dear friends 17 year old daughter I am thinking a lot about death and the choices we make.
I try in my own way to make some sort of sense out of it. My brain searches for wisdom and understanding. My heart screams out the injustice and my pain reminds me how vulnerable we all are.
Last week the beautiful you woman was alive and vibrant and happy. She loved and was loved in returned. She had her whole life ahead of her. Today we will mourn her passing, weep tears of loss and miss her with all of our being. A family will be ripped apart, dreams shattered and life will never be the same. The void left behind will consume us and the questions will never be answered.
My heart breaks for my friend. I am constantly thinking about what I can do to help. I know anything I do will be temporary, a bandaid on her broken soul. I know that in a matter of weeks most peoples lives will go on the same as before but hers will NEVER be the same. I remember thinking as life returned to normal for those that had surrounded me when Matthew died how unfair it was. I was angry that they had a life to return, a family in tact. How could they all go back to a normal life while mine was gone?!
I hope with all that I have to be there for my friend every single time she needs me. I hope I can give her what she needs. I hope she knows how much I love her and care about her.
People wake up. Life happens, it changes it throws it curves that we are ill-equipped to handle. Let's be there for each other, lets LIVE each and everyday, let's let each other know how important they are in our lives.
I hurt for my friend, I realize how it could have been my son, I realize how fragile life is.
Life is fleeting, life is good, and we need to live it while we can!
This was originally written on Sept 27, 2012 but went unpublished until Oct 10, 2010.
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