Another Year

I am certain that I am not the only person thinking of another year coming to an end.  What went right, what went wrong, what stayed the same, what changed?

Did I accomplish any of my goals, did any of my dreams come true?

I have to say for myself I am not happy with  the end result.  I am in the same spot.  I took some chances, I made some memories, I had some fun.  But all in all not much has changed.  I am still alone.  I am unfulfilled.  I am still struggling with what I want and how to get it.  I am still sad and emotional.  I am still lost and regretful. 

As I write this I want to give up.  I want to run and hide, I want to snap my fingers and have everything fall into place.  Why do I have to fight for everything I want?  Why must I always be the also ran.  Why do my past failures, shortcomings or mishaps have to loom so large?  Always taunting me, reminding me that I will never be who I want to be.  Never will I be all that I can.  Never have anything that I don't fight for and even then never have it all.  

Yes, I guess I am feeling a bit defeated this morning.  I know that I can let it ruin my day or I can get it out and make room for some positive thoughts and actions.  I will not give up, but instead get going.  I will not hide my frustration, but instead get rid of it by doing something constructive.  I will not cry but instead use that energy to do something physical to better my health.  

I am not living in the past but continuing to write my life story.  I will set a short term goal today.  I will work toward accomplishing that goal.  It's my life, it's my story.  Life is good, I want to live it...I will for today!!!